Aurisha Smolarski psychotherapy

I Wasn’t Prepared For How My First Thanksgiving Post-Divorce Would Feel

Single woman thanksgiving

While challenging, this mother explores how her first holiday after getting divorced inspired new traditions. It was the first Thanksgiving after our divorce, which had only been finalized a few months earlier. My ex and I—and in recent years, our young daughter—had always gone to New York to visit my in-laws.

Thinking About a Divorce?

8 Tips for Approaching Divorce Thoughtfully and Effectively A couple’s decision to separate often comes after months if not years of reflection. Family law firms have noticed a spike in divorce-related inquiries at the beginning of the year, as many couples wait until the end of the holiday season to finalize a decision to divorce. […]

4 Tips For Redefining In-Law Relationships After Divorce

Elderly man holding young sleeping girl

When you think of divorce, what comes to mind? For most married people, it’s probably the end of your romantic partnership. You may not focus on your extended family until you have to deliver the news to them. If you have strong bonds with your in-laws and other extended family members, the prospect of losing […]

Divorce Doesn’t Have to Traumatize Your Kids

Divorce is experienced by children as a loss, and that loss can lead them to feel grief, but the experience doesn’t need to be traumatic. They can work through grief and eventually move past it, while trauma has long-lasting effects. Understanding the difference between grief and trauma may help to decrease the fear many parents have about divorce. Eleven-year-old […]

8 Tips to Help Co-Parents With Drop-Offs and Pick-Ups

A parent kisses her child on the cheek as she prepares to go to school with her backback on in a living room.

Although moving between two homes can be stressful for a young child, their co-parents can work together to make sure the process is as easeful as possible. Six-year-old Abby runs out the front door, her mom close behind, and waves at her dad, who is sitting in the driver’s seat of his car.It is 5 […]

Two Homes, Two Sets of Rules 

Two doors representing "two homes, two sets of rules"

It’s not uncommon for kids with two homes to have to juggle two sets of rules. But it only takes one co-parent to give their kid a safety net to help manage these inconsistencies. Children in two homes who are left to struggle with different sets of rules often try to pit their parents against […]

The Mindset Shift from Coupled to Co-Parents

Divorce, legal separation, child custody concept

Going from being in a romantic relationship to co-parenting with a person you no longer want to be close to can feel daunting and overwhelming. A separation or divorce when you have kids doesn’t just entail separating your stuff and your homes and creating custody and parenting arrangements; it requires a complete mindset shift. This […]

Don’t Put Your Kid in the Middle 

Asian boy kid sitting and crying on bed while parents having fighting or quarrel conflict at home. Child covering face and eyes with hands do not want to see the violence. Domestic problem in family.

KEY POINTS Co-parents should shield children from parental conflict, not make them witness it. Putting a child in the middle means inappropriately placing a child into roles that should not be theirs. A child who feels their needs are unimportant can lose self-esteem, self-value, and a sense of security. “Don’t put your child in the […]