Couples Therapy
in California
Are you experiencing the same arguments that keep resurfacing or or emotional distance that is leaving you feeling alone and disconnected?
Many couples find themselves wanting closeness but feeling misunderstood, reactive, or disconnected. Couples therapy offers a space to slow things down, understand what’s happening beneath the surface, and begin changing patterns that no longer serve you or the relationship.
Couples therapy can also be a place to feel empowered to grow together and reconnect as a team. In therapy, you and your partner explore relational patterns, childhood experiences, past traumas, and insecurities that may be impacting your connection. With increased awareness and support, couples therapy can strengthen emotional safety, deepen intimacy, and begin to rebuild trust and safety.
Are you feeling:
- Disconnected, alone, or misunderstood in your relationship?
- Worn down by constant arguing or bickering?
- Emotionally distant or sexually indifferent?
- Stuck in communication patterns that leave you feeling defensive, unseen, or misunderstood
- Hurt and angry following an infidelity or broken trust?
- In need of support with co-parenting or guidance to separate in a collaborative, peaceful way?
If so, couples therapy can help you and your partner make sense of these experiences and find a clear path forward.
My Approach to Couples Therapy
Couples therapy isn’t about assigning blame or deciding who is right and who is wrong. It’s about understanding the deeper patterns that emerge when connection feels uncertain — and finding your way back to each other.
When couples struggle, it’s rarely because they don’t love each other. More often, it’s because each partner has developed ways of protecting themselves in moments of stress — patterns quietly shaped by attachment histories, past experiences, and what each person learned to do when closeness felt unsafe. These patterns can pull two people apart even when they desperately want to stay close.
The arguments aren’t really about the dishes.
I integrate three evidence-based approaches — the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Relational Life Therapy (RLT) — to help couples move beyond communication scripts and into what’s actually happening: the emotions, the nervous system responses, the echoes of the past. Together, we work with the emotional and physiological roots of disconnection, not just the surface of it.
By understanding how our histories shape the way we reach for — or pull away from — the people we love most, we can begin to build something new: genuine emotional safety, and the mutual care and closeness you and your partner are looking for.
This is work that creates deep and lasting change.
For couples whose conflict is shaped by past trauma or heightened nervous system reactivity, individual EMDR therapy can also support deeper healing alongside couples work , helping each partner build the inner regulation that makes true connection possible.
How Couples Therapy Can Help
Couples therapy helps partners step out of reactive cycles and develop a clearer understanding of what is happening between them. Rather than trying to “fix” one another, therapy focuses on shifting the patterns that keep couples stuck.
Through our work together, couples often experience:
- Greater awareness of recurring conflict cycles and how to interrupt them
- Increased emotional safety and trust during difficult conversations
- Improved ability to repair after disagreements
- Stronger emotional connection and intimacy
- More effective and compassionate communication
- Heal from infidelity or other betrayals
- Support navigating challenges parenting stress, or other major life transitions and stressors
As emotional safety is restored, many couples find that closeness and understanding begin to grow naturally, both inside and outside the therapy room.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy Sessions
Couples therapy begins with developing a shared understanding of your relationship, your concerns, and what brings you to therapy at this point in time. Early sessions focus on learning how each partner experiences conflict and connection, while establishing structure and safety in the room.
When emotions run high, sessions are guided in a way that helps slow interactions rather than escalate them. I work to ensure that both partners remain engaged and supported, helping each person express their experience while also being heard by the other. If conversations become overwhelming or one partner begins to shut down, we pause to restore regulation before continuing.
Neutrality and balance are central to my work. Couples therapy is not about taking sides, but about understanding what happens between you when stress, fear, or disconnection arise. Over time, this structure allows couples to practice new ways of responding, both in session and in daily life.
Couples Uncoupling Therapy
Not all couples come to therapy to stay together. Some partners are seeking support in separating or divorcing in a way that minimizes harm and allows for clarity, care, and respect.
Couples uncoupling therapy provides a space to:
- Navigate separation or divorce with less conflict and blame
- Create clarity and acknowledgement on how you got here
- Improve communication during a difficult transition
- Support a cooperative co-parenting relationship
- Process grief, anger, or confusion with guidance and structure
- Create agreements that honor both partners’ needs moving forward
This work is especially valuable for couples who want to separate thoughtfully and reduce long-term emotional impact, particularly when children are involved.
Is Couples Therapy Right for You?
Couples therapy is not only for relationships in crisis. Many couples seek support because something feels off, connection has faded, conflict feels harder to navigate, or life changes have introduced new stress into the relationship.
Therapy can be helpful whether you are:
- Feeling disconnected or emotionally distant
- Stuck in repeating arguments
- Struggling to repair after conflict
- Navigating parenting or co-parenting challenges
- Experiencing shifts in trust, intimacy, or roles
Seeking couples therapy is often a sign that both partners care about the relationship and want to understand one another more deeply.
FAQs
No. Couples therapy is not about determining who is right or wrong. My role is to help both partners understand the patterns that emerge when connection feels uncertain or strained. Each person’s experience is respected, and the focus remains on what happens between you rather than placing blame on either partner.
It’s very common for partners to feel differently about starting therapy. We move at a pace that feels manageable for both people. Even uncertainty can be explored productively, and many couples find that understanding the process reduces hesitation over time.
Yes. I work with couples experiencing frequent conflict, emotional shutdown, or difficulty repairing after disagreements. Sessions are structured to slow interactions, reduce escalation, and create emotional safety so both partners can remain engaged.
The length of therapy varies depending on your goals, history, and the patterns you’re working through. Some couples notice meaningful shifts relatively quickly, while others benefit from longer-term work that allows for deeper repair and growth.
No. Couples therapy can be helpful at many stages of a relationship. Some couples come in during periods of disconnection or transition, while others want to strengthen their relationship before problems escalate.
Yes. Couples therapy is offered both in person in Los Angeles and online throughout California. Virtual sessions follow the same structured, supportive approach and can be effective for many couples.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re wondering whether couples therapy is the right fit, I invite you to schedule a session. This is an opportunity to talk through what’s been happening, ask questions, and explore next steps at a pace that feels supportive for both partners.
- Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT
- 323-203-1526
- aurisha.smolarski@gmail.com
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Office:
3371 Glendale Blvd. Suite 214,
Los Angeles, CA 90039
Many couples find that identifying communication patterns brings immediate clarity to what happens during moments of stress or conflict.
Take the Communication Style Quiz
For couples navigating separation, divorce, or co-parenting, you may also find support in my audiobook, Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids, which offers attachment-based guidance for raising children across two homes.
